I want to first share my respect for you as a fellow witter and student, and apologize if any thing written offends or angers you. My comments are not those of a professional, nor written to bash your ideas or thoughts on the subject.
I really enjoyed reading your blog and in my opinion it was very well written. The main topic of your blog(health care reform) was very clear (and I love that you voiced your prospective on the bill.The strongest sentence was "I DO NOT feel that it is right in ANY way to force the American citizen,(Texans in our case)to have to pay for it or face severe penalty otherwise." However, as Kris says smart people can disagree.
Use Pros and Cons. I notice that you only state negative costly examples such as "barley making ends meet...struggle from month to month" for the health care reform. By stating both sides of your topic (pros/cons)you make a stronger argument.By listing pros and cons the writer is allowed to morally weigh the situation or problem.The next paragraph will have an example for supporting t he bill.
Yes, the bill will cost us Americans(con) but it probably wont be much more than we already pay.(pro)Prime example; Currently, if you call the ambulance and you have insurance you pay $900 for the ride to the hospital, if someone who doesn't have insurance calls the ambulance you will still pay that $900 that the hospital writes off in tax dollars.See how something so small can have a huge effect on an argument.Think of your readers as judges wanting to hear both sides of the story.
Is the cost of the bill the only thing that you are against? In your blog all your statements toward the bill concern money and budgeting. Although your argument about money was strong I would give more detailed objections.You are trying to convince an audience (your readers) to share your view. If I were trying to find out where i stood on this subject matter just one objection wouldn't convince me to see things your way.
Use topic sentences. A topic sentence just summarizes your paragraph in the first sentence. This makes reading a piece of work easier and understandable.Although your blog is short you could stick a couple in there.
Again, I really enjoyed reading your blog.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
How long before the Elephant gets loose?
Abortion-
1.The removal of an embryo or fetus from the uterus in order to end a pregnancy.
2.any of various surgical methods for terminating a pregnancy, esp. during the first six months.
3.an immature and nonviable fetus.
4.any malformed or monstrous person, thing, etc.
5.Biology. the arrested development of an embryo or an organ at a more or less early stage.
6.the stopping of an illness, infection, etc., at a very early stage.
a.shambles; mess.
b.anything that fails to develop, progress, or mature, as a design or project.
The above are all accurate definitions of this act viewed as a crime by some and a choice by others. For decades politicans and civilains everywhere have tried to tackle the the big elephant (abortion) to see if this act is murder or a matter of privacy.Some questions include:
When is the fetus considered a life?
At what point is a fetus mature? Etc.
Personally I think the definition speaks for itself. Constant biological debates have formed forums have been held for or against abortion but there is no clear answer to whether it (abortion)is right or wrong.True, the law does not prohibit it but dose that make it right? Unanswered questions like this bring frustration and anger to sides of the party. Erlyndon Joseph "Joey" Lo,is a perfect example of the frustration people are having just because the government cant decide whether or not to ban abortion or not. "Joey" filed documents on Friday saying his religious beliefs entitled him to use deadly force to prevent an abortion. He listed the name of a clinic, its address and the time he was going to show up - noon that day.He says "I plan on saving at least one human life in Dallas, Texas,". Look at this. This man has completely and utterly lost his mind. Using deadly assault on a clinic with woman and children.This issue is like a boiling pot. The more unattended it is the more it boils over and and destroys. Come on Texas, how far does this thing have to go? whats next bomb threats? Seriously take a stand do the right thing and make abortion illegal before this thing gets too out of hand. Honestly whose to say whats next?
1.The removal of an embryo or fetus from the uterus in order to end a pregnancy.
2.any of various surgical methods for terminating a pregnancy, esp. during the first six months.
3.an immature and nonviable fetus.
4.any malformed or monstrous person, thing, etc.
5.Biology. the arrested development of an embryo or an organ at a more or less early stage.
6.the stopping of an illness, infection, etc., at a very early stage.
a.shambles; mess.
b.anything that fails to develop, progress, or mature, as a design or project.
The above are all accurate definitions of this act viewed as a crime by some and a choice by others. For decades politicans and civilains everywhere have tried to tackle the the big elephant (abortion) to see if this act is murder or a matter of privacy.Some questions include:
When is the fetus considered a life?
At what point is a fetus mature? Etc.
Personally I think the definition speaks for itself. Constant biological debates have formed forums have been held for or against abortion but there is no clear answer to whether it (abortion)is right or wrong.True, the law does not prohibit it but dose that make it right? Unanswered questions like this bring frustration and anger to sides of the party. Erlyndon Joseph "Joey" Lo,is a perfect example of the frustration people are having just because the government cant decide whether or not to ban abortion or not. "Joey" filed documents on Friday saying his religious beliefs entitled him to use deadly force to prevent an abortion. He listed the name of a clinic, its address and the time he was going to show up - noon that day.He says "I plan on saving at least one human life in Dallas, Texas,". Look at this. This man has completely and utterly lost his mind. Using deadly assault on a clinic with woman and children.This issue is like a boiling pot. The more unattended it is the more it boils over and and destroys. Come on Texas, how far does this thing have to go? whats next bomb threats? Seriously take a stand do the right thing and make abortion illegal before this thing gets too out of hand. Honestly whose to say whats next?
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